The One That I Want
by Lady Rosepetal
Summary: Another oneshot fic about the McDean pairing in Hollyoaks.  This one is set after JohnPaul believes Craig has chosen Sarah over him.  Please r&r thanks.


Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Hollyoaks or any of its characters, they belong to Lime Pictures and Brian Kirkwood.

* * *

John-Paul sat with his back pressed up against the front door, weeping the tears that he thought would never subside. Why did loving someone with all your heart and soul have to hurt so much? Why did the one person that he harboured all of his strongest feelings for have to betray him time after time? He had felt certain that Craig would choose him over Sarah once the truth was out, how could he have been so wrong?

When he had heard the knock at the door, his spirits had soared; Craig had finally come to be with him properly. This would be the beginning of the rest of their lives together; they would finally be a real couple and no longer a shameful little secret. His smile of joy soon faded though when instead of Craig he saw Nancy standing there, looking daggers at him.

She was one of the last people that John-Paul wanted to see but she had forced her way inside wasting no time in telling him exactly what she thought of him and Craig. Then she had taken great pleasure in informing him that Craig had gone round to see Sarah to try and reconcile their relationship. "Yeah John-Paul they're getting back together", Nancy's words still echoed around his head, causing physical discomfort, cutting him like a knife blade.

He started sobbing again, his breath catching painfully in his chest. Craig had come round to his house eventually, probably to tell him that everything they had once had was over. John-Paul couldn't face him though, couldn't bear to look into those deep brown eyes of the man he loved and hear such sad words coming from his mouth. He couldn't find the strength to open the door and let Craig stomp all over his heart again as he knew he would.

John-Paul's eyes went to the watch around his wrist; angrily he took it off and turned it over to glare at the inscription written on the back, 'Love always'. "What a joke", he spat bitterly, had all this just been Craig's idea of fun? Was it all just a game to him, making people fall in love with him only to shatter their hearts into a million pieces? He was a scam artist after all.

He hurled the watch away and watched as it collided with a glass ornament. The ornament cracked apart and splinters of glass flew everywhere. "Damn", he exclaimed, forgetting all about Craig and his wounded heart as he took in the scattered shards of his mum's favourite vase. Irritably he got up from the doorway and went to find a dustpan and brush.

* * *

The tears on Craig's pillow had long since dried, now he was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom wondering how he could get John-Paul back. Surely this wasn't it for them, after all that had happened that year this couldn't be the end now. Craig refused to believe that they were finished but then why hadn't he let Craig in when he had called round to his house earlier?

Craig shut his eyes tightly and the image of John-Paul's beautiful face swam before him. His blue eyes sparkled with life and love and Craig wanted to reach out and caress the soft, smooth skin of his cheek and kiss those wonderful lips that he had tasted so many times.

Craig's eyes snapped open, there was no way on this earth that he was losing John-Paul now. He would fight for him, no matter what the cost to his own dignity and self-respect. Loving John-Paul was the only thing that made Craig feel alive and without him he felt he may as well be dead. How could he have not seen it before? He slapped his forehead.

John-Paul was everything, to think that the idea to leave him behind and go and start a new life with Sarah in Dublin had even begun to form in his mind was ludicrous. Sarah could never have made him truly happy and now he thought about it he realised that he probably would have ended up hating her for not being John-Paul.

Craig reached across to his bedside cabinet and picked up his mobile. He held it in his fingers, not knowing what to say but hoping that the right words would find their way to him. Taking a deep breath he scrolled through his phonebook, found John-Paul's name and hit the green call button with his thumb. His heart was pounding as he listened nervously for the sound of John-Paul's voice answering.

"Hello..."

"John-Paul listen, I..."

"You have reached the mobile of John-Paul McQueen, I'm not around to take your call right now but if you'd like to leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Craig ended the call as he realised he'd only got through to voicemail. So John-Paul wouldn't even answer his phone to him? There was nothing for it but to go round again and if necessary wait all night until he opened the door and was ready to talk. Craig was prepared to wait around for as long as it took, he wasn't leaving until he'd seen John-Paul.

* * *

John-Paul was on his hands and knees clearing up the sharp pieces of glass when for the third time that day there was a knock at the front door. Craig's voice called out, "John-Paul, please I really need to see you and I'm not going anywhere until I do."

"Craig", John-Paul thought, putting down the dustpan and brush "what's he come back for, come to rub more salt into the wound?" John-Paul grimaced as he felt a sharp point dig into the palm of his hand, a piece of glass had lodged itself there and had drawn blood. He turned his hand over and carefully removed the piece of glass. As he held his hand up to inspect the damage, blood trickled down his arm.

Ignoring Craig's pleads to let him in, John-Paul hurried upstairs to the bathroom to wash and dress the cut. It wasn't particularly deep but it was very sore. He winced slightly as the cool water gushed over his bleeding hand. He found some bandages in the medicine cabinet but soon discovered it was very tricky tying a bandage with only one hand.

Craig was slumped down outside the McQueen's front door, still determined to stay there until John-Paul agreed to see him. The afternoon was wearing on and it was starting to get dark now. Craig was thankful he had put on his snowflake cardigan earlier that day as it kept most of the cold at bay as night began its descent over the village.

"What you doing down there?" Mercedes stood in front of him, looking down at him with her fierce, dark eyes demanding to know why he was sitting on her doorstep.

"Mercedes hi, uh I'm..."

"If you've come to see our John-Paul you can think again, he doesn't want to see you."

Craig stood up and met her dark eyes with his own. "You've asked him have you?"

"Listen I don't have to ask him nowt. I know that you've broken his heart and that's good enough reason for him never to want to speak to you again."

"Please, just give me a chance. Give me one more chance to make it up to him. I won't let you down I swear. I love him and I need him to know that, I have to show him how much he means to me and how worthless I am without his love."

"Have you gone soppy?" Mercedes relented, rolling her eyes. "Alright get up before I hurl, you've got two minutes." She unlocked the door and Craig went in after her. He stared around the lounge at the splinters of glass gleaming in the carpet. Then his gaze fell on the watch that he had given John-Paul as a token of his love, a simple way of spelling out what he meant to him.

"What happened here?" Mercedes spoke out loud, surveying the damaged vase.

"I think I might know", Craig's voice was quiet.

"I'd better get this cleaned up before mum gets home", Mercedes continued. "John-Paul is probably upstairs in his room sulking, you go on up. But be warned", Mercedes turned on him with a menacing look, "you do anything to upset my brother again and you'll have me to answer to. You got that?"

Craig gulped and nodded as he turned to run up the stairs, putting distance between himself and John-Paul's formidable older sister. He walked down to the far end of the corridor and paused outside John-Paul's room. There he raised his fist to knock, butterflies swarming around inside his stomach. This was it; this was his last chance to put everything right between them.

A series of frustrated groans and curses coming from the bathroom filled the hallway. "John-Paul?" Craig called from outside the door. There was no answer so Craig tried the handle and the door swung open, showing John-Paul standing at the sink trying to wrap a bandage around his hand with his teeth.

John-Paul looked up as he saw the reflection of Craig standing behind him in the mirrored door of the medicine cabinet. "Craig", he whispered, "who let you in?"

"Does that matter? It's not important." He said gently then his eyes widened with concern. "What have you done to yourself?" Craig walked over to John-Paul to see the bloody mess of his hand more clearly. "Ouch, looks painful", he seethed through his teeth.

"Not nearly as painful as finding out second-hand that you've been dumped by the one you love", John-Paul returned, a fresh tear fell down his cheek.

"What? What are you talking about; you're the one that dumped me."

"Nice try Craig, blaming me for your mistakes as usual."

"What?" Craig repeated. "I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Sarah", John-Paul's shoulders heaved as the name left his lips. "You've made your choice so what the hell has that got to do with me anymore?" He snarled angrily.

"Sarah – but John-Paul me and Sarah are finished. I went round to her house to tell her that she wasn't the one that I want."

"So who do you want?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Craig was surprised.

John-Paul nodded, "Yeah."

Craig took a step closer to him, took the bandage and carefully wrapped it around the other man's hand, planting a kiss on it once he had finished. Then he raised his eyes to look deep into John-Paul's. "You", he smiled. "John-Paul McQueen, you're the one that I want."

John-Paul beamed delightedly, his face glowing with happiness. Then he was struck by desire as his lips crashed against Craig's in a frantic, passionate kiss that neither of them ever wanted to end as their tongues sought the depths of each others' mouths, exploring and probing and tasting every inch.

"Are you two finished in here?" Mercedes stood in the doorway. "Only I want to wash my hair."

"Yeah we're done here, I think it's time we moved this to the bedroom." John-Paul giggled quietly to Craig, taking his hand and leading him to his bed.


End file.
